Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
