So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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