Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
