Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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