i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
