so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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