he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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