I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
