I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
