The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
