yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
