I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so let's talk penis.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
