What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
