so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
