u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
