I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
