her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it glows. i had to have it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
