she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
