Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
