i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
did i just pee glitter
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
