im gay
i know
yea but for you.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
