That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i think i just lost a toe
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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