There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
