I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
