she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
