You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
