operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You may now shotgun with the bride
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
