Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
