she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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