Define "chronic" masturbator.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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