i think i have herpe
just one?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
