I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
