I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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