at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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