just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
