You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
