I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
