Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
