Just fell off a train. Bad.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
