Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
