I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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