i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize