How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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