Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
