No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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