watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
