he looks like a really good dad on facebook
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
