Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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