What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He shit in the fireplace
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
