She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
