My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
