If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
