I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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