I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
