It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
