He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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