ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Michael Bay diarrhea
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
