just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
