i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
