This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
