My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
