This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
